The Night is My Companion, Solitude My Guide…

Frankly, it has been a tough week.  V., the dogs and everyone else have gone to other places, which leaves me alone to reflect and figure out what is next. Perhaps the hardest reality of not being a member of the pack is that it is harder to enter the bigger group when you want to or need to. For my own part, I know that I would rather live the way I do than to give in to the semblance of normal that comprises the group. As Alex asks in A Clockwork Orange: “So what’s it going to be then, eh?”

This next week’s night work will be about a new set of products that have just arrived for packaging photography. With no rush on these pieces I am hoping to add a few more shots to my commercial portfolio that I really like. Without anyone to help me eat [or photograph] the food though I will have to space things out so that nothing goes to waste; I truly hate wasting food if I can at all help it. It always goes back to when I lived in Montreal and had nothing in the cupboards. If I can preserve the food, then one less animal needs to be killed and one more plant can flower.

I picked up a Hasselblad CFI 50mm FLE lens from Atlanta, Georgia this week. I found that I needed a wide angle option for both the food photography and the upcoming Europe trip. While I am reluctant to spend any more cash on equipment, these lenses have pushed me to improve my vision and lend a unique colour IQ to my finished images. If this lens sits well, then I may end up just taking it to Europe instead of the 80mm.

On the Euro-front, I am just starting to take a look at what I might actually see and do on the adventure. As it sits, I have booked my hotels and trains for 3 nights in Berlin, 2 nights in Munich, 3 nights in Florence and 2 nights in Rome. This should allow me ample time in the two German cities and Florence, while whetting my appetite for Rome and possible later trips there. Like Tokyo last summer, I feel like Rome will be a return destination that I can go to when I just need away from the universe. Also like Japan, I will just be taking medium format film for my photography. With the Hasselblad 501CM it is going to be trickier to get proper exposures, but I am up for the challenge. The real challenge might be to pick the proper combination of films to shoot with. Unlike a digital image, the film I use will dictate the feel of the final product. I bought five 120 rolls of Kodak Ektar 100 and will shoot one before I leave to see how that one feels. I will probably try to order five rolls of 220 Kodak Porta, 5 rolls of 22o Ilford Delta 100 and then go with some other available rolls.

I am hoping to use some of the photographs I take as part of the Chasing Light series that I started in Paris last summer. While I did eventually make some prints for sale, I never actually found any time to sell any of them. Since this series only has black and white images done for small prints, I will certainly be able to find some complementary shots in Rome and Florence.

While these should be great destinations for food, indeed Rome is the centre of quality food, I am not really focused on that aspect of the trip this time. After Chicago I have gone off the foodie chase of perfect meals, and hope to just be able to enjoy the easy vendor options that I can probably find without too many problems. Sitting down alone for a fine meal is strange, but I have done it many times. However, on this trip I think that I am going to seek out sustenance in the beauty of the ancient world’s finest treasures, a well-deserved espresso and some time in good hotels.

At then end of the blog entry I cannot help but wonder if there was any real purpose of writing other than to divert myself from not having the company of those I love. Sometimes you can only do what you can with what you have, and that is okay; some days it is okay not to have the answers, to have the drive, and to enjoy the vision…but tomorrow is another story.


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