Final Dispatch From Vegas: Hard Luck Woman

My time in Las Vegas is done. Oddly, it has been an emotional roller coaster filled with brilliant intellectual connections made by Sherman Alexie, Lemony Snicket and Sir Ken Robinson on the up side. There has also been the realization that average person in Vegas believes the con that gambling and girls will ever provide more than momentary relief from life’s problems. On the down side…it is so damn hard to be alone and have no one to talk to when I am travelling. After two days I get edgy and disconnected when I speak to no one other than when I order food or drinks. I really started feeling this in Barcelona this summer, and I fear this is telling me that I need to find a partner or stay the hell home.

So what have I learned in between the automatic weapons and luxury spa moments? Money provides very little consolation to most of the world. Vegas is filled with people desperate to find fulfillment; either at the tables or at the bar or with ladies of the night. The reality is that none of those solutions could ever be more than an addiction that takes away more than it gives. If anything…I would like to be an addiction that gives more than it takes.

20121117-215115.jpg Las Vegas is a city where you can find solace in leaving. I need to go home for the first time in my life. This city reminded me that I have business to take care of; business that I need to follow through with until the very end because unless I do then I may end up seeking happiness in the cheap, hollow ways that I have witnessed others do this week. I am better than that, and am ready to put all down for what I want. Can you say that? Really?

So where am I? I walked through casinos and bet a whole $10 on a slot machine, if only I could say I tried; most boring 20 minutes ever. I fired a wide selection of weapons at a firing range. I learned a variety of story-telling techniques from the best in the business. I bought the most beautiful clothing at Elton in The Palazzo, and know I will look better than ever before when I wear them. I ate well, but exercised better. I took one real risk this weekend and lost badly, but will correct and adapt. I learned that I am finally comfortable with myself, and nothing matters more than that…almost.


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